The other day I was asked “What is the most important thing you took from this trip”. Whenever I reflect on my experience in Egypt, or when anyone asks me “what was your favorite thing/place?”; my immediate response is “Dendara!” The Red Pyramid was magical, the King’s chamber powerful, and Karnak and Philae were deep and beautiful…
Dendara and the Hathors were my impetus for taking this journey and something deep inside me was changed upon my arrival. I understood, sitting there against the pillar with tears streaming down my face, that everything leading up to that moment had been divinely guided. Intellectually I knew this, but it landed in my body in a way that hadn’t registered before, or perhaps I hadn’t allowed myself to believe could be true. It was the experience of being welcomed home, and every cell in my being woke up to be received.
Because of this knowing, everything feels different, everything IS different. I cannot (nor do I wish to) return to business as usual. It doesn’t seem adequate enough, and yet it’s hard to know what the next order of business should be. But I am ok not knowing what those next steps are, I don’t feel the pressing need to have all the answers right now as I might have in the past. It feels strangely peaceful to be dwelling in the unknown, in the mystery. There is also now, an innate sense of trust that this will all unfold beautifully on it’s own. A clearer understanding that there is a timing to it that cannot be rushed and a patience to attend it. It is from this place that I know things will fall in to place far more quickly than if I press upon myself the sense of urgency I am accustomed to feeling; the urgency to make it all happen “now!”. All this creates is frustration and anxiety when what will serve is clarity and flow.
So now I get to sit in this soft, sweet space and let it all sink in deep; allowing this transformation to take root and restructure every cell in my body. It’s strange, this feeling of newness and perhaps slightly disconcerting. I suppose I’ll have to get used to it as there seems to be no turning back.
I bow my head in awe and humble gratitude. I greet myself each day with patience and compassion. These are such tender gifts….